First World Problems

I can’t even count the amount of times or weeks/ months I have spent in hospital. It’s the little things people never talk about hospital stays that are just pain annoying.

Before I begin – everyone is entitled to a rant about s#!t that annoys them, no matter how lucky they are.

Also, this list is definitely subject to change!

This is my official First World Problems list as a patient at a world class hospital:

• ECG dots – I’m sure anyone that 99% of anyone that has had a ECG dots on longer than a day will tell you “they suck”. They’re sticky residue stays for ages, even after scrubbing. Unfortunately for myself I’m allergic to the glue that slowly eats away at my skin. Trust me if this happens always ask for the hypoallergenic type!

• Gowns, gowns, gowns. So many types. No matter how nice and nearly you put them on and how tight you tie the back up… they always somehow unravel themselves! I just put them on backwards now and tie them at the front. Then I can keep an eye on them, rather them hoping no-one can see my backside!

• Biopotential Telemetry…aka Portable ECG machines. Don’t get me wrong they’re great, you can walk away freely from your bed. But have you ever tried to shower with them? First you can’t get them wet so they have their own special sleeve… then you go in the shower and there is no where safe to put them… So you end up shoving them behind the soap dispenser, on a railing or giving up all together and holding one arm out the whole time praying it doesn’t get wet.

• Also, let’s not even get started about trying to shower with the ECG machine, various short lead wires and sticky dots. Honestly, the list goes on… can never get a decent shower!

• Now… let’s talk about Obs time… that lovely time at 1am or some other absurd time your nurse wakes you up to check your vitals. I know, it’s important, but it’s crappy when you’re already feeling crappy. I do not envy nurses jobs!

• That brings me to skin-wringing blood pressure cuffs. These bad boys can be used every 6 hours, sometimes every 4 hours if you’re lucky like me… now I have some lovely tiger stripes on both of my arms… my poor poor skin.

Like I said first world problems, but they still suck!

To be continued…